


I never knew love (Till you came along)

by TheeBabyRose



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Underage Drinking, Underage Relationship(s), Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-06 22:00:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17947913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheeBabyRose/pseuds/TheeBabyRose
Summary: Clarke met Lexa at the age of 14. Lexa met Clarke at the age of 17. Lexa was working at a fast food place while struggling with her past when Clarke applied for a summer job. They slowly become friends, and Lexa fights the growing attraction she has for Clarke knowing it would never work, while Clarke struggles to come to terms that she has feelings for Lexa.There are some touchy subjects in this fic. It may be difficult for some readers.This is my first fic so sorry for any errors.





	1. The beginning

      _I could feel his presence over my body. HIs shadow casting a sheet of ice over my prone body. I pretend not to feel him there, staring at me. It was better this way. Easier to pretend it's not happening. All just one big dream. Yet as his hands start to slide across my body, I know it is no dream. His hands that once helped me off the ground when I fell, wiped tears off my cheeks when I cried, now slowly brought down the pajama's I had worn to bed. I try to readjust my weight. Try to make it seem as though my sleeping form was about to wake, try and get him to stop. It never works. He grabs my right hip and lifts and works them off. I want to cry... but I can't. The cold night air now nips at my naked legs, crying to covered once more. He stops for a minute and it disgusts me even more that he... he is admiring my body. I try to will myself to sleep, to escape from this hell that enslaved me every night, but how can one sleep when the devil is looking at them._

_His hands resume their roaming. Up and down each leg, his breathing getting heavier with each passing stroke. I feel his weight as he settles down next to me. His breathe hitting my face like a wall of blasting air, taking the breath from my chest instantly. He leans down and presses his nose to my neck and inhales. I pray he can not feel the raging drum of my heart inside my chest. He licks the spot once and sits upright. Suddenly I feel a hand disappear. I wonder if he was going to make this a short night. I felt a sense of hope blossom in my chest. Then I hear the sound of a zipper being pulled down. I choke back the sob that tries to work it's way up my throat. I try readjusting once more, in hopes of stopping what's to come. As soon as I started moving his hands pinned down my hips once more. I knew he was watching my face, watching for any signs of me waking up. I made sure my face was void of the emotions that were raging on inside of me. Made sure my breathing was steady. I knew that if I gave away any sign of being awake things would take a turn for the worse. So I laid there accepting my fate. Praying that I did not wake up ever again. His hands disappear all together as does the weight on the bed next to me. I hear the sound of fabric being removed....His pants. I can no longer hold back the single tear that works it's way down my cheek and onto the pillow below me. I feel his hands return but instead of resuming their stroking each one grabs hold of a leg and spreads them apart. His weight settles down on my bed again, this time between the only barrier I had left. I feel him move close, I brace myself for what is to come. He readjust himself and..._

"I told you to wake up 20 fucking minutes ago. I swear to god if I come in and you're still in bed I will kick the living shit out of you."

     I grab my stomach as I roll of my bed and sprint to the bathroom. I barely make it in time for last nights dinner to hit the toilet. I sit there letting my stomach empty for a good 5 minutes. As the last of it comes out I wipe my mouth off with the back of my hand and flush the toilet. I try to stand up but almost fall under my own weight. Instead I fall back onto the tiled floor and welcome the cold embrace against my hot body. Sweat rolling it's way down my forehead, my shirt stuck to my skin as if becoming a new layer. 

     "You have 30 seconds to get your ass up or I'm coming in with a bucket."

      "I'm..." I try to yell but wince. My throat was dry and raw. The door bursts open and my sister comes through with a bucket prepared to be launched at the now vacant bed. She stops for a second, confused as why the bed was empty. It only took her a second to realize what had happened as she sets the bucket down and comes to the bathroom. She takes one look at my prone body on the ground and immediately drops down next to me.

     "Hey, another nightmare?"

     I nod weakly. I try to get up once again. My body felling like a hundred stone bricks. I almost lay back down when an arm makes there way under my back, helping me get up. "Here I got you." She slowly helps me gets up and sits me on the side of the bathtub. "Do you think you can sit up for a second?" I nod, angry that I need her help again. She glances me over one last time, as if doubting me. Once she is sure I won't tip over, she let's go of me. I hear her mess with the drain and a second later the water is running. "I'll be right back okay?" I don't feel like responding this time. She nods, understanding my inner conflict as she heads out the door. 

      _Stop letting her see you like this. Family or not this is getting pathetic. You can take care of yourself you don't need anybody else. She just pities you. That's all. She's probably exhausted having to keep rescuing you're ass. She'll come to hate you if you don't stop with this. Who can you count on when she leaves. You only have yourself. Stop letting her in._

    I hear her footsteps approaching and quickly stubble to the door. I reach it just in time to shut the door before she can walk back through. "Seriously, what the fuck!" "I'm....i'm taking a bath, I don't need you in here while I do so." I doubt she can hear my raspy voice, so I lock the door for safe measures. I hear a pound on the door and footsteps fading away. 

    I sigh knowing that it hurts her when I do this, but I have to. I can't have her hating me too... I can't have her leaving me as well. I try to strip off my clothes, almost toppling over in the process. When the last article of clothing hits the ground I shut off the water and step in. The heat burning my skin as I sit down. I rest my head against the edge and try to calm down. 

     I don't know how much time passed while I sat there. For once my mind was quite... Well as quite as it ever gets. It was peaceful. 

     "Lexa please open the door."

 

 


	2. Just another day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa struggles to start to start the day. Little did she know it was the start to a whole new life.

     "Lexa open the door please." I hear Anya on the other side of the door. Her voice sounded small and afraid. I felt a twinge of guilt gnaw at my stomach.  _It's better this way. Push her away before you hurt her... or she hurts you_. I take one last breath, enjoying the peace of the water around me. It had grown a little cold during my time in it yet it still provided comfort to my empty body. I grasp the edges of the tub and pull myself up. The cold air burning my back as the water's shield is stripped away. I grab the towel that lay beside the tub, fallen from the hook it resided on. I wrap it around my slim body as I stand up and step out of the tub. I take a look at myself in the mirror as I pass by. My brown hair stuck to my face, it's curls now laying flat. My eyes that once held the deepest green now dead and grey. My lips once plum and full stripped of their skin, scabs lining the edges. My cheekbones protruding further then they should causing my cheeks to hollow out. It took awhile for all this to happen, but in time the dead inside finally made itself known on the outside. I looked more like the walking dead than alive.  _Look at you... Look at what you've become. A hideous thing that no one could ever love._

    I quickly glance away. I take a deep breath, willing the emotions out of my face, I don't need her seeing me weak again. I reach out and twist the lock on the door, the click loud enough to echo in silent room. As soon as the lock clicks the door is flung open and I barely avoid being smacked in the face. "Jesus fuck Anya, watch it." I quickly shove past her gripping my towel securely around my body. "Lexa seriously what's going on. I thought the nightmares had stopped." She doesn't know. I never had the nerve to tell her. All she knows is that he moved without warning. Just up and left the state. Where he's out now, well neither of us know. "It's nothing Anya. Just a stupid dream." She looks at me as if I'd grown a third eye, "Just a dream! Just a dream doesn't throw you into that state. Doesn't make you throw up and basically paralyzed." She yells. I look away. I quickly start biting the inside of my cheeks, trying to distract the rising of emotions with pain. I only release when the taste of blood floods my mouth. I quickly swallow the pool of blood and look at her, "I said it was nothing Anya. Now leave it alone and get out. I have to get ready for work." 

     She looks likes she's about to say something else but a glare sent at her quickly stops anything from coming out. She flings her hands in the air and storms out of my room, slamming the door in the process. I collapse onto my bed and stare at the wall.  _She doesn't understand. She'd hate you if she ever found out. Blame you for letting it happen... You let it happen. You did nothing to stop it. You're a coward that can't even fight back. Just laid there and took it._ I could feel something hit my hand. I look down and realize it was a tear drop. It sits there for a second, then rolls away onto the towel where it gets absorbed into the cotton. I don't know when I started crying. I quickly wipe my eyes and stand up.  _You don't get to cry. Crying is for the innocent_. 

     I quickly finish off drying myself and throw on my work uniform. I've been working at Grounders for a few months now. It wasn't a bad job. The people were nice enough and not much was required of me. I drove myself to keep busy though. To keep myself out of my head and busy. I throw my hair up into a ponytail and grab my hat. I glance at the mirror in the corner of the room. Just a simple glance was enough to make me want to just get back in bed and under the covers. I quickly grab my keys and head out. 

     I pass by Anya without even so much as a glance her way. I keep my head down and eyes to the ground. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to see the anger or disgust that are held in them. Little did I know they held nothing but sadness and hurt. As I exit the door I hear her say, "Drive safe. I love you." I don't say anything and shut the door. 

     I quickly hop into my car. A little 2005 Pontiac Gran Prix. I had bought it little over 2 months ago. It wasn't the best car by any means but it got me where I needed to go. I start it up and connect my phone to the radio. I throw on Spotify and blast the music. The louder it is, the easier it blocks out everything else. I don't know what song comes on, but it's loud enough to do the job. I throw it in reverse and hop onto the street. 

     I make it to work in almost record time. Granted it's only a 10 minute drive usually. I pull into the back and park in between two of my co-workers. Octavia and Raven. They were also my friends... sort of. Along with Anya I've pushed them away as well. The only time I really saw them anymore was at work. _They're probably relieved that you're gone. They don't have to keep pretending like they care about you._ I shut off my car but don't get out. I glance at my phone it's been silent all morning, but it usually is. 11:25. I had 5 minutes before my shift starts. I take this time to prepare myself. Don't talk unless needed. Head down. Just go in there do what needs to be done. You only have to be here till 7.

     I was about to get out when a car pulled up behind me. It didn't park in a spot just in the middle of the parking lot. "What in the hell are they doing?" The passenger door swings open and she steps out. The sun hitting her blonde hair as if being absorbed by it. Her eyes, even from this far away, shine sky blue against her pale skin. My breath gets caught in my throat and I find myself unable to look away. She waves at whoever is in the driver seat and says a few words I cannot decipher and shuts the door. The car slowly pulls away and I see her take a deep breath and throws on a hat. No fucking way. It was a grounders hat. I had been so focused on her face I failed to realize she was donning the grounders uniform. That's it. I'm going to have to quit. 

     I wait until she's gone inside and look at the clock. 11:32. Shit. I contemplated just leaving but realized I couldn't. I had to know more about her. I quickly hop out of my car and head in.  _What are you doing. You can't talk to her. Are you trying to get laughed at. A girl like her would never even give someone like you a second glance._ My heart instantly drops. How stupid I was to even think about talking to her. Might as well just go jump in front of traffic instead. I drop my head and open the back door. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know what I'm doing with this story and how exactly I want it to turn out. This story reflects what I went through this past summer with a girl and this is kind of how I chose to cope with it. I don't know if I want it following exact but I guess well see how it turns out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa meet for the first time. Neither of them knew how much the other one would change their lives. Stay tuned :)

     I keep my head down as I pass by some of my coworkers. None of them try to acknowledge my presence anymore. They gave up awhile ago after being met with deaf ears. I turn the corner and head to the computer to clock in. As I was punching in my number I head a conversation starting behind me. "So is this your first job?" by the sound of the voice I could easily identify the person as Raven. "Yeah my dad wanted me to get a summer job. Said it would be good to save up some money. I didn't want to at first but then I realized it might not be such a bad idea." God that voice. I knew who it was, not just by her saying it was her first job but because that angelic voice could only belong to the angel I saw in the parking lot. I had to fight myself not to turn around, not to just catch a glimpse of her.  _Keep your head down. Maybe she'll just think you're mysterious or something but I swear to god if you turn around you'll ruin it...._ _maybe she'll actually like me though. Would it kill me to just say hi... yes, yes it would. You saw her. You'd end up saying something stupid like 'come around here often' and she'll laugh at you._ "My names Raven, and this is Octavia. We can help you get around and show you how things work around here. We can introduce you to people if you'd like as well." "Yeah I would enjoy that. I'm Clarke by the way"  _Clarke._ Even in my head it sounded beautiful. I hear them head through the kitchen door. 

     I realize quickly how weird I must look just standing in front of the computer like a statue and grab my slip. I stuff it in my pocket without even glancing at it and head into the kitchen, the smell of the food quickly flooding my nose. Even after all of those years eating at this place I still loved it. I glance around to see who I'm working with today. Murphy stood in front of the fryer shaking one of the bins, he was always over that thing. Monty was over by the pop machine glancing at his phone but not really looking at it. I wonder what was up with him today. Bellamy was flipping burgers on the grill looking like a natural cook in his habitat, and jasper was adding the dressings onto the food items. Even though he was going at a decent pace I knew by the way his eyes were glazed over he was high once again. 

     I glance at the front counter and see Octavia, Raven, and Clarke gathered around the till, no doubt showing Clarke all of the buttons. I couldn't help myself as my eyes raked over her body.  _That ass should seriously be illegal, and those hips... god, I'm not surviving today._ I continue my obvious gawking, not trying to cover up what I was doing, I don't even think I could if I tried. I don't know how long I stood there staring, felt like hours, till finally I saw them starting to turn around. I quickly duck my head once again and tried to find something to busy myself with. I ask Jasper if he needed any help but after a quick shake of the head I looked around to try and find something to do. I realize the floor was a bit messy and decide to grab the broom and sweep it up. I head to the back and grab the broom and dustpan from the wall. As I pass by the counter I grab my headphones that I always leave at work. I walk back into the kitchen and realize Clarke is standing right were I needed to sweep.  _Just my fucking luck._

     I set the broom against the wall and the dustpan on the floor. I start of the task of unwinding my headphones from their knotted disaster. As soon as they were tangle free I pull out my phone and plug them in. I quickly through on some Pandora and throw my phone back into my pocket. Usually I only put one earbud in but my anxiety was starting to kick in and I realized I needed both of them today. I revel in the comfort they brought me as they settle in my ear, blocking out the sound of the world around me. As soon as the music starts playing I grab the broom, leaving the dustpan where it lay, and took a deep breathe,  _jumping into traffic is starting to sound like a great idea right now_ _... fuck it_ _what's the worst that will happen. She'll probably just ignore me like everyone else_.  _Here goes nothing_. I head over to where she stood, trying not to look like I was affected by her presences in any way. I start where she wasn't standing, happy she had yet to realize my presence. I sweep it all into a nice little pile and start making my way down. The music blasting in my ear loud enough for my head to vibrate with each beat. I never really had a favorite music type, anything but country was okay with me as long as it was loud enough to block out everything else. 

     I was so wrapped up in my sweeping I didn't realize how far back I had gone until I felt a solid mass hit my back. I quickly look behind me ready to glare at whoever was behind me, everyone knowing to stay out of my way when my eyes hit the ocean.  _My god their so blue_. I stood there just looking at her eyes, trying to pick out every detail about them till I realized she was trying to talk to me.  _Oh god what do I do. Just walk away. Say nothing and walk away._ I was about to do just that when I saw her hand reach up trying to tug my earbud out of my ear. I jump back, not wanting to touch her knowing I would melt right then. She looked startled at my sudden movement, her eyebrows arching up. I quickly reach up and pull out of my earbuds and raise an eyebrow back at her. She stands there just looking at me for a second, as if taken back by my action. She quickly gets control of herself once again and reaches out her hand once more, this time stopping only half way between us, palm open. "Hi, I'm Clarke. It's my first day here." I look at her hand and reply "I know, kind of hard to miss a new face in here." I meant it as a joke but it came out so monotone. Her eyebrows go down this time, with a little frown going with it.  _Not even 5 minutes of knowing the girl and you've already made her frown._ I quickly grab her hand, lightning instantly shooting up my arm. I try to contain the gasp but all it does was make it even louder. I quickly feel the heat rising to my face. I tear my hand out of hers, "I'm Lexa." I quickly side step her, trying to avoid looking her in the face, forgetting the pile I had swept onto the floor and make my way to the back again.  _Stop! Seriously. Can you at least pretend to be fucking human for one fucking second._ This really is going to be a long shift. 

     After the encounter I had tried to avoid her as much as possible. There would be times where I was on the line and she would stand behind me watching me. It was nerve wracking to say the least. I could feel her breath hitting the back of my neck, almost making me drop all the food I was handling. Every time she would inhale it felt like she was ripping the breath from my lungs and into hers. I tried to ignore her presence but it was a futile task. So I tried my best to ignore it, throwing back on my blank face.

     By the time my shift ends I was surprised to realize I was happy to be going home. As I was clocking out I was trying not to look like I was in a rush but I needed to get out of here and away from her before I make an even bigger fool of myself. I grabbed my time slip, once again slipping it into my pocket, and turn around to head out the back door. The second I turned around though my body met a another the second time that day. "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you would turn that fast." She continues to ramble on while I stand there frozen at our close proximity. I finally raise my eyebrows at her, my lips forming into a short smirk. Seeing this she quickly shuts up and inhales deeply before starting over. "I was just wondering if I could get a ride home. My ride couldn't make it and they said you live up in Lead as well."  _Well fuck me. Just say no. Say...what the fuck can you possibly say without sounding like a class A jackass._ I sigh... "Yeah. I'm parked just right out back." I don't say anything else and step past her and out the door. 

     I quickly reach my car and get inside.  _Okay. You got this. Just drive her home, don't say anything. Keep your eyes forward, eyes on the road and you'll be just fine. You won't even notice the angel sitting right next to you._ The passenger door quickly opens up and a body plants itself on the seat. "Thank again for the ride. It was a life saver really. I get it's not that far away but I did not want to walk." I nod and start up the car. I had forgotten how high I had it before and when the music blares out of the speakers it scares us both. I quickly turn it down to a reasonable volume and reverse out of the parking lot. 


End file.
